I understand this cycle. It is much less intense for me than it was years ago.

I was just talking to my t about it today. He said mid week he had an inking to call or email me but he couldn't explain why. He ended up with an emergency with another patient and was distracted. I had the urge to call but resisted

It is true that I had a stressful week but I try to resist the urge to contact him unless I'm really hurting. After years of doing exactly what you describe I think it goes away on its own. I know t is reliable and there if I need him as my other t's have been. So I feel more secure and able to tell myself I'm ok right now.

You could try, when you have the urge for reassurance, to try to wait a few hours before emailing. Then maybe mark the wait in days. But no need to torture yourself. After a lot of back and forth reassurance from your t I really believe it starts to resolve on its own by your therapist just "being there". Your brain will finally "get it " Maybe an early attachment figure was unreliable and this process is rewiring you. Hope this makes sense.