Ever since I was a little girl I've been paranoid, but also curious.

For as long as I can remember I've envisioned what it would be like to be kidnapped, enslaved, raped, beat, killed, lost a limb, put into a coma, etc. For years I would dream or day dream of things like those happening to me. I can remember when I was in 1st grade, I would make my dolls and stuffed animals act stuff out, they kidnapped and were kidnapped, they enslaved and were enslaved and so on... When I got older I stopped playing with dolls, so this weirdness changed to dreams.

Also for as long as I can remember, I've always felt like i was being watched. I cover up cameras. Make sure no ones around. I make sure when I'm home alone my houses doors are locked, and i double check. I always feel like someone's reading my mind. So I never say my darkest secrets in my head, for fear of them becoming known. I mean I know I have trust issues but come on.

What's wrong with me? I'm confused. (didn't go into full detail in this for a reason)