Flintstone is exactly right! My former husband gave me divorce papers 4 months ago after a 41 year marriage. Now I get to heal a "victim mentality" that I've had from childhood, where my mother victimized me and encouraged my 6 siblings to do so as well. An old trauma that is now revealed so it can be healed. Not easy, and like Jamielow, I was gutted and did not see this coming. Went straight back into the early trauma and was suicidal. Too much pain... more than I felt I could bear.
Doing better now, but still triggered. Now, more aware and beginning work on boundaries with the lifelong victim trauma.
Motto: keep living until you feel alive again.