There are many here on this forum...that probably know some of the feelings you are experiencing....maybe not as many that are combat veterans....I am certainly willing to talk...sometimes...just someone listening...and the act of writing out what you are thinking and feeling...can have a direct connection to how you think about yourself...in a beneficial way....seeing in front of your eyes...your thoughts expressed can let you delve deeper...or even understand in a different way what you are feeling.....or gives incite in another way....
I have known personally the families of people who have committed suicide and it is a very good thing that you have the awareness of what it would do to those you leave behind....and that you check yourself.....because it is devastating to them in ways and layers that linger and NEVER go away........

I wrote this on some other post...and if it is veterans you are wishing to talk with...someone with shared experiences....have you tried writing on forums of the service you actually served in....I have read and written on some...and there were men that offered to speak with me privately.....and some of the forums even had closed to outsiders where deeper conversations were held....

The computer has helped me so much...in reaching out and having contact with people....yet there are times it is certainly the wish that you could just sit and be with someone....so...my words are the only way I can accomplish that with you...hold this thought in your mind....we are sitting together....we may not speak much...just occasionally grunt in each others direction...yet we are breathing together....and in my typing these words...my computer is on...and open to you....and if you read them where ever you are...your computer is on...and we ARE talking to each other...we are sitting in each others homes right now.....keep reaching out.....KEEP REACHING OUT....we are human...and sometimes we just need to let go and lean a little on someone else....I have done plenty of leaning....and am offering to be the support that lets you lean a little too....what ever you need....if I can....I will.....come back here....I am keeping this screen open to this page....hang in there...and keep breathing in....and letting it out...
People want to help....there ARE people who have the need to help too.....the hard part is...what I struggle with so much.....letting them......I am sending you deep breaths...and really really hoping you keep reaching out...