Quote:
Originally Posted by cnlsaf
Ever since I was a little girl I've been paranoid, but also curious.
For as long as I can remember I've envisioned what it would be like to be kidnapped, enslaved, raped, beat, killed, lost a limb, put into a coma, etc. For years I would dream or day dream of things like those happening to me. I can remember when I was in 1st grade, I would make my dolls and stuffed animals act stuff out, they kidnapped and were kidnapped, they enslaved and were enslaved and so on... When I got older I stopped playing with dolls, so this weirdness changed to dreams.
Also for as long as I can remember, I've always felt like i was being watched. I cover up cameras. Make sure no ones around. I make sure when I'm home alone my houses doors are locked, and i double check. I always feel like someone's reading my mind. So I never say my darkest secrets in my head, for fear of them becoming known. I mean I know I have trust issues but come on.
What's wrong with me? I'm confused. (didn't go into full detail in this for a reason)
|
First, those perverse ideations and daydreams are due to a lack of social interaction and life stress. Your hormones are making you have those crazy feelings because your body is in survival mode and your imagination is playing you to prepare you for survival (you know in case your family decides to disappear on you and you have to survive all on your own). The good thing is that most people will not do those things to you and life is not as dire as it once was.
Second, you could have an overactive thyroid that could be making you have those overwhelming paranoid feelings, because from what I've been told everyone has those strange thoughts about being watched or spied on once in a while. You should go to see a general practitioner to get your thyroid checked in case it is what could be causing you to have these strange convictions. Also, you may be suppressing your imagination and your imagination bites back with vengeance when you least expect it when you ignore it. If you can play an instrument or draw or reading might help you to get back in control of those feelings instead of it hijacking you making you feel on edge.
I hope you feel better soon.