Quote:
Originally Posted by thesnowqueen
What has helped me as others have mentioned is a kind of 'self love'. I haven't managed to achieve this in a stable and ongoing way but I do manage to experience it, episodically. The way I do this is with a kind of triangulation. There are people and even pets that I ADORE. Their value is immediate and undoubtable to me. What I do is summon up these feelings and then deliberately redirect them to myself. It's not always effective but it sometimes is.
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I found that 'self love' once and it was an amazing spot to be. I haven't figured out how to summon it back. I do have hope now that it is possible for me to feel it. Before then, I doubted I could, I didn't think it was possible to feel it or that I knew what self love felt like. Oddly, I've yet to get down on myself for not being able to find it again or get to it again. I think it was a turning point for me. I already understood that this process is a journey, it is work, and an ongoing focus on myself; so just knowing it is possible and that one day I might get there has allowed me to relax some into the process and into the work. Not push myself so deliberately hard to try to reach the end but to allow myself the space for me to meander my way there looking at the sites along the way.
hmmm I like that.. 'the sites' of my being.