Working on that. About a month ago, we had a session where MC said at the end, "I know you're probably going to want to e-mail me after you've had more time to think about what was said, and that's fine. But I have one request--that before you e-mail me, you try talking to H about it, so that you give him a chance to comfort and reassure you." And I did just that--talked to H about it first, there was still some lingering stuff, so e-mailed MC. Then proceeded to talk to H about it more before session.

I'm trying to be better with that in general, too. And lately (past few months), H seems to be responding in more of a way that's helpful to me. I think talking in session about what I wanted/needed in terms of support from someone is starting to sink in for H. Before, I'd try to say what I needed/wanted in certain situations (like, I was having a panic attack, I was worried about an upcoming event, etc.), and he'd say in session that he understood. But then in the real world, it was like he forgot what we'd talked about.

He's gotten much better lately--not sure what shifted, but I feel like particularly in his response to how I reacted when I found out about MC's wife--it was exactly what I needed at the time. A hug, and being open to listening and talking about it. I feel like the marriage counseling is helping with that, it's just been a slow process. The same with me understanding H and what he wants/needs--he often doesn't seem to know what exactly he wants/needs from me, which is difficult for me. So that's something we're trying to focus on now in session (and at home).