It's understandable for you to have feelings such as you've been having. After all you are human. I feel the worst thing you can do to your children is to let them see your emotions. As a parental figure they'll look up to you for guidance and you cannot let them know that you're giving in to your emotions.
If you do, then they'll do the same thing even more so when *&!% hit's the fan for them, making them incapable of handling stress or tragedy.