It may be that you do not have bipolar and that you instant but waning reactions to meds are so because the meds are placebos for you - you believe they would help and that makes your body and your mind react positively at first, but they do not get at the root of the problem, so you perceive the meds as losing their potency. In general, Lithium is not the kind of a medication that would be felt instantly. Lithium needs to accumulate in the blood and reach a therapeutic level.

Depakote is not an antipsychotic - it is an anticonvulsant, as is carbamazepine.

carbamazepine gave me a serene mood, but I developed a rash that made treatment with it impossible. I take a combination of Lithium and Geodon (a lot of Geodon and a little of Lithium) and together with a very regular schedule (everything is on schedule in my life) they work, but I definitely do have Bipolar I, so it would be expected that I would react positively to the right meds combo. In your case, it sounds more like BPD, for which as noted above, DBT is an evidence-based approach.

I have also heard of several cases where an old antipsychotic HALDOL was used successfully in BPD as a PRN (=a drug you take as needed and not on a maintenance basis). It is a tried and true drug, and if you develop neurological side effects to it, there is a drug called Cogentin which may help counteract them. Plus, PRN use probably would not yield significant side effects anyway. I would obtain a prescription for HALDOL and take it when you feel the first approaching signs of anger, and see how it goes.

Another idea for you is to fill a HALDOL prescription and take it when you feel relatively calm, just to figure out if you have side effects to occasional use. If you do not, then hopefully it would be in your medicine cabinet for you feel out of the control.