I was reading one of Kathy Steele's books yesterday (through the look inside feature on Amazon.com) and she was talking about dissociation being driven by a 'phobia' of one's own internal experience. (Which makes total sense when you consider the theories of dissociative experiences and how dissociation becomes self-perpetuating in a way, as the dissociated material feels too overwhelming so is pushed away).
From that perspective - with the ANP being 'phobic' about the dissociated experiences of the EPs - meditation and mindfulness practices would be very threatening, as they are integrative practices rather than dissociative ones. They encourage one to become more aware of their own internal experiences, but in dissociative disorders the dissociative mechanisms are maintained by avoidance of internal experience.
I do not meditate and have an aversion to it, but at this stage of our healing I am able to become more mindful, and it helps. I have a strong drive for this - I *need* to get my selves together and functioning better - and that is my particular role in this system. I am trying very hard to overcome those internal phobias and break down our dissociation, but we would not have been able to do this earlier on in our therapy process.
But yeah - it makes total sense why you might be averse to mindfulness and meditation practices, Abby.