@innerzone- good point about the perfectionism. Yeah I do have those tendencies. I like your "good enough!" Strategy. Will have to try that.

But yeah re expectation- I'm not sure if I am just ridiculously optimistic or if I am being delusional...
I do know that even though I have no historical evidence in my life supporting it, there is a small part of me that still seems to have this never ending hope that one day things will work out just like I imagined them.

But I suppose lowering my expectations to be more aligned with reality would be the smart thing to do. I guess the fact that i recognize that i do this is a start. Maybe I will bring it up with my T this week.
Anyway, have a goodnight all.