Okie I pretty much agree with everyone here. Being attracted to someone is normal behavior and wonderful with someone (male or female)who shows respect to the people around them. Something that crossed my mind is that being single can be hard when we are touch starved and lonely and we can be attracted to someone we would never really look at otherwise. This guy sounds like a loser. the fact that this is leaving you upset and wondering is a red flag number 1. Disrespecting his wife is red flag number 2. I am in my 50's and it took me awhile but I got really picky with boyfriends. Manners, self respect for self,friends and possesions are key. I used to make excuses and let a relationship go on trying to make it work. My motto now is two strikes and your out. Abuse of alcohol or drug use and they are gone. My life is too short to waste. Needless to say I have a wonderful BF. Its coming up 5 years and i am spoiled rotten. Hang in there HE is out there somewhere. I used to find that safe hugs at church really made my day and kept me feeling loved.