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Why can't I just accept what he says at face value?
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Because of this:
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major divorce inducing fight where he said things. Unspeakable things that he apologized for and swept under the rug. I have not recovered.
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*****
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He tells me he loves me everyday. Shows me most days.
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But what is he showing you when it is not "most days"? Is he showing you behavior such as:
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hubby acting shady, not coming home, not answering my calls or text.
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*****
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The last fight just shook me up so bad I'm confused.
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Of course you are confused: His mixed messages are massively confusing and disorienting.
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I could just be having BPD moments here.
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I doubt that given what you say about his behavior.
*****
Why do you suppose there is no sex right now?