My family on my dad's side experienced a lot of sexual abuse. My dad was sexually assaulted by his brother, my cousins were sexually assaulted by their dad, my dad sexually assaulted his sister and one of my cousins etc. I'm very upset about it all and deeply embarrassed. I have always been a very reserved, sad and anxious type of person, but I've been hypersexual at times and it's surprised even me. I believe I am experiencing repressed memories that are manifesting as somatic experiences, i.e. pain in the groin and genitals and daymares, sometimes I hear these voices telling me 'You're disgusting! No one has ever touched you.' and a voice that accuses me of being a *****.

I keep thinking because of the problems that I have mentally I wonder if I am repressing or forgot abuse while growing up as a child, because it is said that you forget most of your childhood after the age of six, and you don't remember anything from before the age of three. My mom said that she never trusted my cousins or my dad around us as children and that's why she refused to work while we were growing up.

I didn't have much to do with any of my family growing up or that I can remember of but I wonder sometimes if my cousins or my dad touched or acted inappropriately around me as a child.

There was one instance where my oldest cousin, the cousin that my dad molested as a teenager, grabbed me in a store like a monkey and pulled my arm out of socket and tore my ligaments but I don't remember the pain associated with it or anything much before or after that, I mostly just remember the mental imagery, but I certainly understood what was going on at the time--I thought he broke my arm.

Is it possible that I could have forgotten someone touching me or soliciting sexual activity with me before I could form permanent memories associated with that kind of activity? Is it common to forget those kinds of experiences if you do not have someone else as a witness to validate your experience? My sister and I were sexually active together as kids too and I don't know why.