Quote:
Originally Posted by Beardsley
I'm a combat veteran and I have PTSD. I've been dealing with feelings of inferiority, no self worth, and hopelessness. My wife doesn't understand me, we always fight, and the only thing that makes sense anymore is to just end it. Everyday I struggle with thoughts of harming myself. I spend most of my time inside my head planning it. Some days I consider ending my life. The thought of suicide almost brings me a sense of calm. I'm finding fewer and fewer reasons not to do it. Normally what stops me are thoughts of my wife and parents. What would happen to them? Would they blame themselves? Would they do something drastic? I don't want to burden them with having to deal with everything once I'm gone. I've even considered hiring a lawyer to handle my particulars when it's over so they aren't burdened with me anymore. I don't know what to do or where else to go. I can't check myself in because we run our own business. If I go to the hospital we will go under financially. I feel lost and see no light at the end of the tunnel.
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Beardsley, hello fellow vet and please hang on. What you went through no one can even imagine all the emotions and the intensity of them for you. Do you have the Veteran Crisis Line number? 1-800-273-8255 Press 1, Do you have a local VA clinic? You know you can get treatment there. If you go to the emergency room have them to send you to a VA facility if you have to stay. The VA will probably help foot that emergency room visit as well. I'm using the VA right now for PTSD , non combat, and they have a pretty good program, they are just as any military establishment a little slow. So using the VA would help you financially to get the help you need. Take care my friend and please contact the line. I'm sure they can give you more information about going to the hospital and to a VA facility. Please call them.