A doctor prescribed me antidepressants the other day and told me to consider taking them. I was shocked at the horrible experiences people have had on these meds, and thought I was going to deal with my issues for as long as I could without any pills..

So, I started to wonder WHY I can't get things done, like cleaning the house, doing dishes, cooking.. I realised I'm still living in my survival mode, feeling like I'm only safe if I don't move an inch..

I realised that because, as a child, I was way too small and physically incapable of fighting my dad, and couldn't flee from my home, my response to a stressful, scary, traumatic situation was to freeze completely. I reckoned if I was as invisible as possible so that no one could see the 'real me', I'd be safe..

Now I need to realise I'm not in that situation anymore Just this morning when I woke up, I found myself thinking how lovely it is I get to live on my own! That I don't have to be afraid in my own home anymore. And now I choose the people I accept into my life. I just need to listen to my instincts and not let anyone near me who seems dangerous. Now I can decide, so I don't need to protect myself by freezing anymore I'm no longer a helpless victim at the mercy of my environment!