Hi not.dead.yet

Sounds like a really powerful realisation!!
And while there may still be times when the past "hurts", you can now live for you, you do have the control now, you can be the master of your destiny
And you know, even after this realisation...........if you don't want to/feel like doing the dishes one day........you want to leave them until tomorrow..........that can still be your choice.......and the choice is your's.........you are in control...........but see that as a freedom, and you've just clearly taken back a whole chunk of your freedom in that realisation!!!
Kudos to you!!!!

Alison