Quote:
Originally Posted by doogie
Are you wanting to just practice hearing 'no' from T and then talking about the feelings that raises for you? I'm also someone who hates to hear 'no' in the sense that it makes me feel like a bad person for wanting something that I shouldn't have or being too needy. It is interesting, however, to think about doing it as an exercise with T. Doing it in a safe way. Like asking my T (her office is in part of her home) "Can I walk through your home?" I know she would probably say 'No' and I would feel bad for asking but we could talk about why I feel bad and where that comes from. I think you should try it! Especially if you and T talk about it beforehand. Good luck!!
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Yes, this was part of the reason for wanting to do it. Also, I am dealing with maternal transference and want, I feel I need to hear mommy tell me 'no' but because of the feeling like a bad person for wanting something, I want it to be managed... safe... something.
We talked briefly about me wanting it today and how last week there was a sort of no. We talked about how one thing might have different importance or invoke more of a response than other things. We moved on from the topic at the time. Then at the end of the session, I asked her to tell me no. Which in her best t self, she said that a no is a response to something asked...(something like that). Earlier I had only hinted at what my question would be, so of course I had to directly ask her. I hesitated and she said that we could pick this back up on Wednesday. I said that I didn't want to have to wait Wednesday to Monday. So, I asked her, and in the kindest way possible she said "I can't". She said other things that was specific about my question.
As a parent myself, all I could hear was the "many ways not to say no" concept. And maybe that was part of what I wanted from mommy; the validation and value of my want, while still not getting it. So far it hasn't affected me... at all? not much? not sure. I just keep thinking about how much I love her.