Well the story really goes deeper. There have been so many incidents of abuse from her. She was a cute, happy woman who was elated to come to the US. We waited a long time for a visa.
I first encountered her anger with her daughter at the airport. (I was going to adopt her but she went back to China. The US was too much for her.) They had a real shouting match. My wife tried to calm her daughter down but she said something to her that sounded quite mean and her daughter got up and disappeared. I had to call the cops.
Her favorite nag on me is to tell me ad nausaum that I buy too much food. There were many famines in China and her family learned to live daya by day, something Americans don't do. Actually compared to the average household I have seen and visited, we do not have any more or less.
Such things as Christmas and Thanksgiving mean nothing to her. Cranberries were always a favorite in our family so I buy a few bags and frieze to enjoy after cranberry season is over. You would have thought I shot Bambi. And we go to dinner and the first thing she says (Not Hi or How are you?) but she tells me I need a haircut. She makes an appointment the same as me and never walk in. Appointments are hard to come by with my schedule. Now she tells me you just walk in and get a haircut. The inconsistency has me stressed to the limit.
I have PTSD and go to regular therapy for it, but I am so much improved that I help out at the Vet Center.
So I have to watch my stress. Already my hands are shaky and I am having heart palpitations. Everyone tells me to leave her but I really do love her and would hate to hurt her with a divorce. She would have to go back to China since she cannot support herself even if she had plenty of money.
My thoughts have not been well lately. I know the signs of suicide. So many of us vets (22 a day, and 65% of them are well educated and over 50. That is me.) No way out. No resolution. A slow spin begins and I know it will lead to a panic attack or another flashback. She has no idea what PTSD is. Her friend saw I was depressed and asked her if I was OK. She said, No, he'll be fine.
And now tonight she has done it again. Left me alone. No call. Payback for the spat about cranberries.
I have not slept in 3 days, a common enough problem with PTSD anyway but when you are seemingly back at war, it just makes life impossible. If I was younger, I would go back to war. Anyone who has had or has PTSD knows what I am talking about.