As Dr Phil would say, 'how is this working for you?'

I feel really badly for this deep depression you are in. The fix isn't going to fall into your lap however. Yes, yes, making an effort is the last thing we want to do when we are depressed. Perhaps it is your case you don't feel you are worth making change or seeking help. Well, that is not the case. You are worth it! You are worth having things improve in your life! What then can you do? Ask for help Reach out to someone. Enacting change may entail presenting yourself to an emergency room. That is a huge favour you can do for yourself.