So my bf works 3rd shift so I'm always home alone all night to early morning. Well lately I've been drinking almost every night. And I black out and look at my phone the next day, horrified. He doesn't like to leave me money when he goes to work because of my substance abuse. But I've been wanting to drink so bad lately that I take bottles back and use change. Then I hide the cans in the trash. I feel about out of control at this point. But I'm just hiding it. I haven't told anyone because I'm embarrassed. I'm mostly embarrassed over the crap I do when I black out. I was acting so terrible the other night that my bf had to stay at his moms. When he told me the things I was saying I was horrified. Then my friend on fb said I said some horrible things to him that night. He hasn't talked to me since. I need to stop this.