(((((((((bluebicycle )))))))))
I know you don't want to hear it (sorry!), but this has sent you off to the races. Would it help hearing it from yourself? Can you look up some of your old posts from when everything went sideways with the Adderall?

And that was when you didn't (I don't think) remove stabilizers from the picture...
This is not a good situation. Please take care. Please kybosh the Adderall.