I'm trying to be proactive and get a handle on this before it goes too far. Honestly I might already be there, but denial is a wonderful thing.

Today is not going well. I thought yesterday was bad, but today is worse. It would be easier to just give up and curl up under a rock or something. That little voice telling me to just go ahead and kill myself because it will be better that way has reared its ugly head again.

I'm trying to arrange getting back on meds or something, just in case it makes any difference. I have an appointment with my pdoc arranged already but it's not for another 6 weeks. Trying to speed it up but it's unlikely. I can't last 6 weeks like this.

I'm at a bit of a loss I guess.