Okay im using this as a diary i guess,

so last night I had sex with a beautiful girl who i have had sex with many times, emotiaonlly i felt fine but mentally i was screwed up, like my feelings of love were there, but as soon as I saw her vagina i seemed not into it anymore and I even had like intrusive same sex thoughts which were SO unwanted because I was straight my whole life I just want my life back! I cant tell if there is porn or something messing me up or what not. I have watched porn every single day for like 4 times a day as an aid to masterbation for the last three years at least not to mention having sex everytime i was with my ex? I wake up and I do not have morning wood recently so I thought it could be a physical problem or something? I had a thought last night during sex of a guy having sex with me from behind during the first time we had sex and instantly I was like a lot less into it...... It really creeped me out?! I like go through this and its like omg im gonna act on it it attracts me then I think of actual acts of like perfroming oral sex or something on a man and then it like definitely doesnt turn me on then it turns me on a lot again but i am repuilesed at the same time because whooooolllleee life,s traight, to this day, no sex with men, ever, I dont want that.... ANy advice, i keep checking these forums and i keep getting scared so please write me back!?