There seems to be no escape from this feeling. I can't put it into words, but the feeling of experiencing everything but nothing at the same time.

I feel powerless now.

Why should I keep fighting. Why, after I've failed so many people, people who were important to me, people who i cared for and couldn't keep safe, or save.

Was any of it really worth it, was any of it ever going to make a difference and change something for the better. I never had the chance to find out.

I miss them, i miss me.