At the risk of sounding mean I dare to say, PLEASE, STOP THE ADDERRAL and find yourself some help

I'd like you to do yourself a favour. Re-read your original post but imagine someone else is telling you this. Does it sound reasonable to you?

Seriously, we are all very, Very, VERY concerned. Have you considered reaching out to a friend or family member? Perhaps someone would be kind enough to take you to the hospital. Perhaps if you were to call Crisis they could come and get you. I would really like you to get some immediate help.

Look, if there is nothing wrong they will send you good-bye, right? If you are fearing there is something they would keep you there for then you already are self aware that not all is right. I have been in hospital and it turned out to be the best thing I did for yourself. I've used these words around here before... You are worth it! You are worth having people help you.