What you say makes a lot of sense. I figured out that I worked so many jobs to keep us in. The structure of the employment meant that the workers were out most of the time and for me they were the most functional. Only I didn't know that at the time. Now I want to have back that confidence and sense of reality. I have little ones and protectors and sucidal ones. In the past if I "had too much time on my hands" I would get a part time job. Forcing me to behave. Now I have no job and the only thing that makes me feel real is when I have to stand up to the cable company because they are over charging me. That happened today. I don't want to offend any of my parts but I don't want to live with the riveted fear that shroud me. This fear and most if not all of my emotions are held by parts. Some share feelings but some are the sole owner of the emotion. It's sad when the emotion is fear or sadness. So when they come close to the front I am overwhelmed by the feeling. And I can only try to find a way to switch so the feeling gets pushed aside to allow some other part to be out or closer to the front. Not fare to the ones in pain but I don't know what to do. I become debilitated by the feelings.