Quote:
Originally Posted by SarahSweden
I think the best way for me is a T who is accepting and caring and who can reach behind my wall of perfectionism and who can make me dare show other sides of myself. It also has to be a T who has great experience from working with therapy and who wants to understand, not just brush it off as me being a difficult client or a client who has too many demands about how a therapy should be.
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I think this is a very good expectation from a therapist. However, I would like to point out that even with such a therapist it can take a loooooong time to get there because most probably your defences are very strong and very rigid and it can take really a long time for a therapist to find a way to reach behind that wall (even if theoretically she is able to do that). This is not said to attack you but rather, I have very personal experiences with that. I, too, have some very strong defences that make me very avoidant and also perfectionistic. A part of me is able to see those things from a perspective and so I don't have the need to blame my T, I can understand that this is a difficult combo and both I and the T need a lot of patience to just keep trying.
Perhaps the main question for you would be whether you think you would be able to spot the right therapist before she has been actually able to find a way to reach you? Or would you quit before out of frustration that again it was someone who wasn't able to help you. Because in order to succeed you actually have to stick with her long enough.
Anyway, I'm sorry about your situation. It really is a tough one. I hope with time you are able to figure out and seek out the help that is best suited for you.