I seem to be sliding down into self-neglect. This is odd because I don't really feel blue. I am having the hardest time making myself brush my teeth. I badly need a haircut. I go out and run errands, looking pretty unkempt. I don't have my usual good appetite and have lost about 5 pounds in the last month or so.

There's nothing medical wrong with me. I see my doctor regularly. (I have chronic aches and pains, which Vicodin eases up effectively.)

Most of the time, I don't feel depressed, especially. I just feel apathetic. I'm wearing the same clothes day after day. I've been showering pretty well, every few days. Brushing my teeth is very hard.

I am busy everyday as caretaker to my chronically disabled boyfriend. I have help. It's not that hard. He's usually nice enough to me.

If I could just go get a haircut tomorrow, I think that would help a lot.

It seems like the main thing I look forward to is how good I feel for a few hours after taking a pain pill. And I have one glass of wine with supper in the evening, which makes me feel better for a while.

I have a mountain of unopened mail. I will lose an important benefit, if I don't get paperwork done soon. I'm neglecting myself and my affairs, and it feels like it doesn't matter.