This is my first post, and I stumbled into this place on accident, but after reading what a number of other people have said about dealing with bipolar disorder in themselves and loved ones, I thought I'd appeal to the community.

My wife and I have been together for 10 years, married for 3. During that time we've had a loving and nurturing relationship. She suffered from depression and ADD, but was medicated for both before we'd met and kept to a strict regimen, only rarely going without (and then usually because she didn't get her perscriptions filled in time).

Two years ago she left her job and went back to school, and after one semester moved into a dorm on campus so she didn't waste 3 hours/day commuting when she could be studying. It was difficult, but we spoke mutliple times per day and she was always home on weekends and in the summer.

Still, there were problems. As had happened in college, she fell behind in her work, missed deadlines, and last year missed the deadline for applying for summer positions (an expectation for law students). By the time she came home we were fighting so much about it that I insisted we go to therapy. She agreed.

By the end of that summer we were getting along gorgeously. We were happier than we'd been in a long time, something she told people as readily as I. When it came time for her to go back to school, things were still going well. Yes, she was still chronically lazy and unmotivated to do much of anything, but she was making serious efforts at mending our marriage, and I was happy with that.

Then, about two weeks ago, she fell behind in work again, missed the deadline for applying for real post-grad jobs, and then shut me out when I tried talking to her about it (using all the techniques we'd learned in therapy). After a few days of silence, I managed to reach her, got her to agree to come to therapy, and we coasted on, a little frosty, but set to fix things. Two days after that, she calls to tell me she wants a divorce. She doesn't love me anymore and hasn't for years.

The next morning, she expresses some misgivings about what she wants, but that night, she's back to 100% sure she wants out. Two days later, she calls again and tells me she wants to make it work and is willing to do what it takes.

She comes to therapy, and by the time she leaves she reiterates her vow of commitment to seeing this through. She hugs me tightly before leaving and it almost feels like my wife again. But two days later she's changed her mind again and wants out.

By this time she's cut off all ties to her family, even leaving her grandmother without a ride to a Thanksgiving gathering. She's got a whole new social life unlike anything she's ever had before (barhopping and groups of new people). Whereas before, for our prior 10 years together she's been very clear what kind of life she's wanted (secure, stable, comfortable), she now wants to live impulsively and free of consequence, and because I am consequence, she must be rid of me.

It took her 14 days to reach this conclusion, consulting no one about it. 10 years in 14 days, and she's never in her life acted with such surity or speed. Everyone who knows her says right away how atypical her behavior is now, almost like she's become a new person overnight. Both her siblings used the word manic to describe her during their last conversations with her, speaking rapidly and more animated than normal.

It should be noted that my wife currently resides in a dorm room about the size of five phone booths. Without me she has no income, currently has no job prospects, won't have health insurance, and won't have a place to live post-graduation. But she thinks all of that is fine, and even plans on representing herself in our divorce proceedings.

The radical shift in personality, the overwhelming confidence (which has not been something she's ever had), the shift to extreme selfishness, the vasilation of what she wants, and her extremely poor judgement as of late got me thinking she might be bipolar, especially because she was diagnosed with depression years ago and then never monitored; she's been on varying levels of Prozac for nearly 12 years. Our therapist asked if she was bipolar when I went to see him about this (because I'm not taking the split well at all).

I cling to the hope that this is all because of illness, because illness can be treated and then maybe I can get my wife back. If she's ill, I'm prepared to stand by her and give her the help and support she needs. I love her, and marriage isn't just about the sunny times. But the question is, how can she be helped? She's convinced all is finally right with her life for a change. Even though I've taken a lot of prepatory measures to protect myself should she file for divorce, including cutting her off financially (while leaving her some money), she continues to go on happy and convinced she's acting with a clear head. She speaks of clarity of purpose and the lifting of self-delusion. She doesn't think there's anything wrong with her (beyond depression and attention deficit disorder), and she's been resistant to seeking help in the past.

Is there any way anyone in her family might approach her about getting help that won't cause her to lock herself away from everyone again? I'm desperate to help her, and through that save our marriage. I love her dearly and I can't stand the thought of losing her, especially if this really isn't a decision she's come to rationally.

Thank you.