Things are falling apart.
My family. My partner. His family.
We are still ok, but it might just be because I swallow the bad feelings. Big sticky bubbles. My insides are a black hole. Poof there it goes. I feel like everything disappears once it is inside of me. I feel disconnected from all thoughts and feelings. They feel petty or non existent. I keep forgetting things, even as I'm saying them. I feel like I can't connect with anyone or anything.
I'm sure I'm depressed, but as I'm still going through the motions in also sure it's fine. I'm doing all of the right things. I've changed my eating and stopped drinking entirely. I go to the gym. I go to therapy and talk about my feelings. I go to yoga with my partner so we can connect and "find peace" together. I want to scream because nothing is right. I have always been nothing at all, and I just somehow realized it now.