Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Stranger
I'm amazed (and actually envy) how people, even here, have this vitality to do and try many things; therapy, discussions, having fun, ... etc. As usual, I feel as a stranger to all of this.
I fear death, but I don't want to live. I wish I didn't have either feeling. Having both makes me feel trapped and stuck and crippled.
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When I am depressed I feel the same, I can't find energy for those things either. Depression is a tricky thing, it can do this, and it feels like it is 'us' and it will never change.
All I can suggest (sorry I am short on good suggestions, I am struggling a little myself right now) is finding something that gives you a place of peace. I know you have been struggling with getting outdoors so I won't suggest that. Sometimes I find music (classical often helps me as no lyrics to distract) helps, other times art - looking at beautiful art, and enjoying the talent behind it.
When I feel depressed it's often trial and error finding the right thing to distract and soothe me, but those are a couple that help me.
I am sorry you are struggling at the moment.