Thanks, Fredje.

I had been talking to my therapist about how much "bigger" the memory and imagined presence of this person has become since I cut off contact. It was the right thing to do but "she" was becoming a thing in my mind and I didn't like the power that was having over me. Much of that power was tied to my fear of interacting with her and whether or not she could still hurt me.

Before the show, I just had a session where I tried to imagine speaking back to her and 'giving back' all her insults and labels. That helped a bit but what's been helping the most is making new friends that I could vent to and finding myself again around people who support me fully. Our city is not small but small enough that most of my social circles overlap. I knew I would see her out eventually and I've been honestly actively avoiding going out or very careful about what I do and with whom, since the break-up for that reason.

Seeing her at this time, with these people around me, and at that distance, was just about right for me. It was like Gestalt exposure stage 1 or something.

Thanks for the reply and good luck with your journey.