Im really anxious to stay in a shelter. I have social anxiety and living with people is particularly hard for me, nevermind living with strangers.
I am about to tell my abusive partner that im leaving him once and for all. I have waited for him to go away to work, he has no vehicle and is 5 hours away.
I'm unsure of how he will react. He has warned he will chop my head off if i leave, take my kids away, destroy my car etc.. he has threatened multiple things.
I called the womens shelter for advice, and they said they can't really help unless I come to stay there. I cant go look there to ease my fears for safety reasons either.

I know that it will be the safest place for me and my children.. but im terrified of staying there. I'm scared of eating in front of people due to my abuse throughout childhood and my partner and there is a shared kitchen. That alone is enough to make me feel on the verge of a panic attack.
I got off the phone with her yesterday and broke down. I don't know how I'm going to do this..

I want to wait to see if he comes looking for me and then have no choice but to leave to the shelter, but then I worry that i won't be able to make it before he gets to me.

I'm so confused and lost.