I'm in the process of accepting my destiny to be alone all my life. Recently I've begun cleaning and cooking again (I was eating junk food for months). I'm also trying to read again and improve my skills to survive in this world. I admit that I'm not trying to change now, but it's just because I've tried so many times and it didn't work out. I think trying to change is the reason why I'm depressed. I'm wanting the things that I cannot get. I know change won't happen while I'm sitting at home wishing it to happen, and I don't expect it to happen. I actually no longer want it to happen, and I wouldn't welcome it if it happened. If I couldn't find it when I desired it, I definitely don't want it when I no longer desire it.