Hey man, don't try it with a man like one of the posters suggested--as if sexual relations were like trying pretzels. You're scared and confused. Many college guys go through a confusing phase. Don't be so hard on yourself. A thought is just a THOUGHT--it doesn't mean you're going to act on the thought. A lot of people are curious, especially at your age. Just because you have some disturbing thoughts about relations with men does NOT mean you're gay or that you'll never get married. It sounds like to me that you're a straight guy. But like I've said before--back off on watching all the porn so much. Go ahead and masturbate all you want, but the porn is putting pictures and messages into your head that may be part of all the confusion. Talk to your therapist--it's his job to help you with confusion and anxiety.