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sunrise
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Default Nov 21, 2007 at 02:06 PM
 
Congrats, Raynaadi. Sounds like you are very excited and this is a positive move for you. And you have a baby on the way! Do you see living together with your boyfriend as a prelude to marriage? Does your boyfriend want to be a part of his child's life (great, if true!)?

Whether or not you were not expecting a baby, I would say to work out in advance how you will handle paying the rent and other monthly bills like electric, water, phone, etc. Make sure both of you have your names on the lease. Will you both deposit your paychecks into a joint account and pay the bills from there? Or will you keep separate accounts and each pay some of the bills from your own money? It is good to have this clearly spelled out, or people can feel taken advantage of or like the other is not contributing enough financially, and this leads to resentment. Best to hash it all out before problems arise.

An important issue will be what happens once the baby is born. Will you take time off work to care for the baby? How long? Will your boyfriend fully support you and the baby during this time when you may not have a paycheck? If you will be going back to work after 6 weeks?-10 weeks?-6 months?, what will happen when you do return to work? Who will provide childcare? Will you and your boyfriend try to shift your working schedules, so that one works days and one works nights, so you don't need outside childcare? Will you take your baby to a childcare center? A private home with a care provider? A grandma?

Lots to think about! (If I can make one recommendation, it is that without the security and protection of marriage, don't give up your job, even if your boyfriend says he will take care of you.) Congrats again on this positive change in your life!

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