I have been back here but I haven't responded to this thread anymore,I guess hoping maybe things would change,hoping maybe it's just my imagination or something.Sorry about that.

I hate sharing such personal information but I guess I need to in order to get feedback.

I have always wondered in the back of my mind if he's gay,I have always just had this gut feeling about it.I don't know how to explain it really,sometimes it's just like you know or sense things.

Things had not been going well sexually so we started dirty talk and role playing.It started out fun but then it turned into him talking about other men,very graphic details of what he would like to do to them,what he would want them to do to him.I went along with it because it worked and he was able to perform.At first it was fun.

That has turned into his constant,usual way of dirty talk.It seems to be the only way he can perform at all now.I have asked him to not talk like that anymore because I was thinking that maybe he was just doing it thinking it was turning me on but he continues doing it.I don't even feel like he is having sex with me anymore,I feel like he's just using my body to satisfy himself as he talks and fantasizes.Many times he comes to me,already aroused,starts talking about men and then having sex with me.It's not as if things aren't going well,having a hard time becoming aroused and then starting the talk to get things going, he is obviously thinking about and fantasizing about it,getting aroused,then coming to me for sex.

What I don't get though is he has always been extremely homophobic,whenever there's been sexual scenes on tv he has turned his head,says it's disgusting,has always talked bad about gays,uses very derogatory words about them.He still does that even though in the bedroom he talks the way he does and gets off on it.

A couple of weeks ago we were in a store and as I was shopping,looking at clothes,I saw him talking with an obviously gay man,very flamboyant,the man followed him around,talking,and what seemed like flirting to me.The man was an employee but it wasn't just being nice to a customer,they both laughed and joked and it hurt to see my husband look so happy talking to him.The man told him to be sure to go back there to shop,even told him when a pair of boots came in he would hold them in the back room for him.

Afterwards I just said "that was odd,watching that guy flirt with you like that"He said it wasn't flirting.I asked if he knew him,that they acted like they knew each other and he said no he had never met him before.I mentioned that the guy was obviously gay and he just said no he wasn't.So I just kind of joked,telling him it must have felt good to get hit on,told him "see,I told you your new haircut looks good".

The next time he was aroused and wanted sex,of course it was talk about what he would do to that guy,what that guy would do to him,etc and he was very excited and aroused over it.

That was hard to write,hard to admit.So,that's just a good example of why I believe he is gay.That among other things.