Thanks for all of your responses. I sort of like taking risks in therapy. I feel that therapy is all about being me in the most raw sense-- so how can I do that unless I reveal the things that are so much a part of me?

I was telling how much I wish intellectual understanding could make the feelings go away. That all my research in erotic transference provided a cognitive understanding for what is going on and I wish that somehow it would help me to no longer feel for him and need him so strongly. I told him how there was even an element of guilt-- to have these feelings for him when I am married... I should have them only for my husband. T said that's okay because there is a level of disclosure understanding between us that does not occur between my husband and I-- so that has a lot to do with why that happens.

A funny thing happened when we were talking about my distaste for children lately. T said, "What if the child was sad and needed help?" I said, "Well I'd want to take him home then." And T goes, "Interesting response for someone you supposedly hate." And I said, "Well I sit here with you every week, don't I?" LOL I don't know where these things come from. Then I started laughing like a %#@&#! madman and said, "Sorry-- sometimes I just can't stand you-- but other times I feel the opposite." What was I thinking??? lol