With the choices between hypomania and depression, I'd have to say depression, because of how much pain I am in during it. The thing about hypomania is that it is damaging to me, but at the time when I'm experiencing it, ignorance is bliss. It feels like I'm flying high.

Mania, on the other hand, really causes so much damage. The early onset of hypomania feels good at first with the creativity and elevated mood. My hypomania almost always pushes into mania though, where things really start to unravel.

Mixed mania wins the award for being the worst state I've ever experienced though. It's so scary with the racing thoughts, it feels it will never end, falling into a black hole. Nobody in my life can calm me or reassure me during those times, and the paranoia seems so real.