On this one EMDR could really help you. I went through comparable situations and EMDR did help me, even though nobody really knows how it really works.

What happens is that you remember the situation get back in there until you have all the memories, feelings, emotions with it and then you follow with your eyes something left-right-left-right. My T uses video goggles and headphones for it where you get a "ding" on the earphones alternating left-right and snychronously you have a white bar displayed on the goggles that jumps left and right and you have to follow it with your eyes. Some Ts just use their index finger that you are supposed to follow.