I'm glad you'll try those alternatives. You must learn that hating yourself is not an answer. What can you gain by hating yourself? You should check out How Can I Help Me Today? It's a great self help book and its only like 3 bucks. It is centered around infusing yourself with positivity and getting rid of negativity. It also gives you techniques that will help you get through this on your own. (Although ofc you don't have to be. ) While it's difficult to talk to someone else… you can always count on yourself.