((hugs)) Welcome to PC. ((hugs))

You've done what most girls in toxic relationships don't do, which was to acknowledge his abusiveness and do something about it, to leave. You cannot fix him. You cannot change him. You go back to him, and you go back to the yelling and the anger and the hurt and if you leave the country, he may not let you come back. You acknowledge you are hurting, you acknowledge he is at fault and you are not to blame, and you acknowledge you want out, that's great! You must face the difficult decision to not go back. There's no easy way or right way to do this, but you must realize your physical and mental health and even your life are in jeopardy if you stay.

My suggestion is to quit cold turkey. Block his texts, block his calls, block his emails, block all communications with him and don't look back. No, he absolutely does not need an explanation or an apology. His actions are unforgivable, as hard as it is, and you do not need to justify your leaving, and you do not need to speak to him to find closure. With toxic friendships I've had, I wrote them heartfelt letters, that I felt hurt and needed closure, sealed them up, and stuck them in a box, never mailing it to them. They don't need closure or an explanation or an apology, I do, but they don't need a word from me to get that closure.

I hope you can find solace in your parents and friends and the will to leave him behind. Best of luck.