I have these very same questions myself.

Recently, I've made myself acknowledge that there is a possibility that I was sexually abused sometime around the age of 5 or 6 and repressed it completely. The opportunity and circumstances were there (in my case, it would have been my mom's boyfriend/cocaine dealer), and I have most of the "telltale signs" of a survivor of early childhood sexual abuse, but absolutely no memory of any such thing happening. Even my intuition is drawing a blank. I'm told that can happen with repressed memories.

I've been talking extensively with my therapist about it these last few weeks. In all honesty, I'm not bothered by the uncertainty. I'm fine not knowing either way. I can imagine various scenarios of what may have happened in vivid detail and not feel triggered or anxious or otherwise upset in any way. It may have happened, it may not have happened (there's an equal possibility of both), and either way I'm pretty much at peace with it. But that's just my own experience. Of course everyone's mileage will vary.

Thank you for sharing your story and bringing up these important questions. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one in this boat. It can be awkward and uncomfortable having to say "I don't know...maybe" when asked whether you've ever experienced this particular trauma.