Hey TR, here's a book that might be of interest to you. You can either purchase it or simply use the Lookinsideme feature. The first chapter might be helpful.
However, make sure that you stay grounded at all times while reading anything like this. If you start to feel any dissociative symptoms try and do the self-care thing of moving away and doing something grounding. I have had a lot of previous therapy for dissociation and am at a different place than you, so although it might be easy for me to read things like this it could actually be retraumatizing for another person.
So go gently, okay?
https://www.amazon.com/Coping-Trauma...s=kathy+steele