Hey. This is just me ranting a bit. I am tired of being alone.
I was reading a bunch of threads on here and a few other boards,
And I can't help but envy all of you people whoave someone in your life- husband, wife, bf, gf, etc. You are very lucky to have somebody supportive who is on your side to help carry the weight of the world when it gets too heavy.

I just want somebody on my side who I love and loves me back. That's not asking all that much. But I am starting to wonder if maybe that is just not in the cards for me. Maybe this is all I get.

I see my coworker with their spouses and families and here I am, alone with only cats as roommates. I am ****ing pathetic. The only person i ever managed to have a long term relationship with who may have actually loved me happened to love cocaine a whole lot more. Perhaps that relationship has ****ed me up too much to be able to be in a normal relationship. Want to have a total mind ****- fall in love with an addict and watch your life turn to ****. I know, it's my own fault for not walking away sooner. But it didn't really help my already crappy self worth. Ugh.

I feel like people just take for granted that they have this other person. Everybody marches two by two up the steps into the ark. And then there is me- and a sad table for one.

Anyway, I am sounding like a sad and lonely pathetic loser here. Because that is how i sometimes feel. I have a few good friends but sometimes I don't feel like there is a single person in the entire world who even really knows who I am. And only a few people who even give a **** about me. I know that's not true, but it sure feels real.

Just me, feeling all alone and broken. I will stop entertaining these miserable thoughts now. Shut up shut up shut up brain. Shut the **** up. I just want to change the channel on this ****** radio station that keeps replaying the same bad song in my head.
Sorry.