Your situation is very, very sad and you are understandably lonely, but look - you have a few good friends, and not everybody is that fortunate. invest in your relationships with those good friends - write or Skype often. You will see that they care and that would increase your sense of self worth, which will make your finding a partner that more likely. You will attract people if you radiate self-confidence. Now your moodiness scares people away. You need a lot of self-work before you become ready to have that someone special in your life.