I just wrote you a long reply but it disappeared.

This doesn't seem to be the run of the mill erotic transference or an addiction. I think it's more like a cathexis, and the energy gets discharged as sexual excitement. You have to self-soothe (releasing the sexual tension) to deal with the emotional dysregulation.

I've had all sorts of sexual feelings and thoughts from therapy, but when I had what you described here, and for 3 days straight and to the point of feeling torturous, I emailed my therapist about it, and he called me from his car on his way to vacation to confront me. It was odd, and of course he never calls me from his car or on his way to vacation...anyway, he helped stop it.

This was about a couple of years ago. He confronted me really seriously. In a way, he almost confronted me how I'd imagine you'd confront someone with a psychotic transference. Yet, it seemed much more physical, "an energy" than emotional, and I didn't have non-reality issues. Odd. But anyway, it stopped. My sexual feelings and transferences didn't go away, but when he confronted me, it stopped the really intense state like the one you described.

If that's what it is, then it really isn't appropriate for him to encourage you to go on about your sexual fantasies. Think of it like this--a child gets excited and runs around the room really fast and jumps up and down on the bed. You know how wound up kids can get, and they can really get hurt. Well, the appropriate thing to do is calm the child, which might entail a serious talk. That's what I think my therapist did with me. Your therapist, on the other hand, is telling you to jump harder and faster on the bed, and to keep running around the room, even though the child's head is bumping into the ceiling.

I do normally think erotic transference is good to be explored, but I think this has a different quality and isn't technically ET. I'm trying to help, but also, you are the only person besides me who I've ever known to have experienced this.

I'll ask my therapist about the concepts as he's really experienced with sexual things as a psychoanalyst (and with 40 years' experience). I see him tomorrow and will let you know what he says, if you're interested.

Hang in there.