Thanks for your thoughts everyone..just wanted to clarify I am not in any way suggesting that divorce is a failure on anyone's part. Jeez, I've considered it at times and would not have felt that either of could have tried any harder at that point. I totally agree that people grow apart, are maybe incompatible and that it is indeed often the strong and right thing to do to walk away from an unhealthy relationship. Apologies if my wording offended anyone, it wasn't my intention. I guess I just had this image of T and her "perfect" family life and I admit that it I very shallow to assume that must include a husband and happy marriage.

I was just really thrown that's all. It was only yesterday and I am still digesting it. I don't assume T is lonely necessarily, just that having gone through a divorce after all those years must be sad for anyone.

And you are all right that being grown up and strong has really nothing to do with being married or not. Again my wording was a little off.

In a way I am glad I only just found out now and not at the time of the divorce. I would have been worried about T. I'm actually amazed I never picked it up, I am usually pretty good at sensing when T has stuff going on in her personal life and she usually tells me. I understand and am glad that she didn't though.