Hello DadFMF,

I am really sorry to hear of your situation.

My father used to work overseas and spends just one month in a year to be with us. My mother was a school teacher and takes care of the 3 of us. They communicate everyday (this was before the Internet and all Apps for communications was possible) so they regularly mail each other every week, sends audio recorded messages via tapes (you know the old cassette tapes?) for them to feel closer even with the distance. I guess that they were both committed to the relationship because we finished high school and college without my father around and only having a mother who juggles everything from being a parent and also works during daytime. So we basically grew up without my father but they are about to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary next year....

I think what I am saying is, it takes two to tango. If she needs space, give it to her but in the meantime, continue with your own personal development, including but is not limit to counselling, being a good father figure even if the kids see you only once in a while. If you still have hopes and still love her deeply, just take some time to let her resentment (as I can see she is punishing you for some things you did but, we cannot correct a mistake by making another mistake) go away. Are you still able to forgive her and take her back in your life if she still wants a relationship with you just in case? That is another question to ponder. If she is not willing to settle things with you. Don't push her but pray for her and for wisdom for you to make the right decision.

In order not to be overcomed by pessimism and sadness, you can also get into some other interesting activities your like. Maybe dancing, exercises, yoga, activities outside your work, join some social groups, spend time with your brothers and sisters (if you have) and parents, etc. just to keep your mind off things.

If you think you still love her and the marriage is still worth saving and you are prepared to accept her all over again, then give her space but on the other hand, with too many red flags, she is not in love with you anymore. You also have to be prepared to move on. I am deeply sorry for this.

I hope this helps a bit.